Who'd have thought that I could vehemenently hate an episode of RAW that had featured the debut of both Rob Van Dam and Tommy Dreamer on it, AND a resolution of my dream, the return of ECW in some form or another? Because it turned into a horrific nightmare.

Oh, sure, all the idiots all across the internet are proclaiming this as TEH BEST ARW EVAAR!!!!1. And for good reason! How many of them actually were fans of ECW? How many of them actually watched Nitro and Thunder every week, instead of going online after every RAW and giving the WWF writing team yet another verbal blow job and saying how this RAW was the best ever, even though they've said that about every RAW since they started watching in 1999? I'm sure that if Scott Keith had any dislike for it was the fact that Rob Van Dam showed his face on TV again. ALL HIGHSPOTS PEOPLE! I HAVE A BOOK! BUY IT! ANYONE WHO LIKES RVD SHOULD BE SHOT

I'm sure I'm not the only ECW fan upset by this. But dammit, I'm going to whine like I'm the only one. Anyone who knows about ECW fans is that we're a fickle bunch. We chant "YOU SOLD OUT" before a wrestler's farewell match, and then "PLEASE DON'T GO" afterwards. We booed Tajiri and Corino as heels, but secretly worsipped them because they were so awesome. But if there's one thing we are all united with, it's our hatred of the other two wrestling organizations, who shall remain nameless. And now this. Putting the phony reins of our beloved company into the hands of the archenemy themselves, the McMahon family. Sure, it's all a work, and Vince practically owns everything Heyman does for the next 200 years of his life, but it's the principle of the thing that matters. I used to be proud to say I was an ECW fan. Now, after Monday night, I'm ashamed of it. Because of the mere affiliation it has with Stephanie McMahon. Now all the smarks who never watched a minute of ECW in their lives are going to think that my favorite wrestling organization is populated by a bunch of WWF midcarders led by an announcer they don't know and then was transferred into the hands of the WWF chick they'd like to bang second-most. LOVING IT HERE, PEOPLE

But, back to business. Sure, after Paul had entered the ring and spit out the word EXTREME, I was ready to shit my shorts with marking out-ness. I had actually predicted a similar scenario, as a sort of wish as to what should happen, so this was turning out to be a very good RAW indeed. Little did I know that later all would be thrashed down upon the jagged rocks of yet another shitty angle. Why Stephanie? Why anything? Would it have been so wrong to let Paul have some moment in some sort of spotlight? He's certainly got better mic skills that Stephanie "100 percent of my voice comes through my nose" McMahon. Want evidence? Just rent any old WCW tape when he was at the helm of the Dangerous Alliance and watch one of his promos. But, as sure as someone's gonna get hit in the head with that cell phone, he doesn't have the good looks that seem to distract so many of our wonderful WWF fans as to who's a heel or not. You wanna know the real reason why Steph got the job as ceremonial figurehead behind ECW? Because of her last name. LORD ALLAH ABOVE knows that we haven't seen enough McMahon vs. McMahon feuds. NOTE THE SARCASM. We saw this same shit before Wrestlemania X-SIX, and if it didn't work then, it's not going to work now. Except this time they're shitting on the good names of other, much more entertaining companies in the process.

Speaking of which, here's an idea for next week. Somebody call up Jim Cornette from whatever backwater promotion they've got him exiled to and have him assist in pissing on SMW's grave by transferring perpetual ownership of that to the Mean Street Posse! It'll work!

Why give it to Steph? Why? Is it a tool to get her over? For fuck's sake, we know who the hell she is, she's over enough as it is, she was in every fucking segment from Jan of last year to this April, and you're telling me we need to see McMahon vs. McMahon vs. McMahon AGAIN? Everyone knows that Steph's not real except when she's married to HHH anyway, so there's your proof that this angle WILL NOT work! For one thing, Paul's the guy who at least brought ECW up to the point where the idiot fan had at least HEARD of it. Find me one in ten people in a normal WWF crowd who can tell you what the NWA is/was other than a rap group. So why can't at they at least let Paul be the phony owner of his own damn company, even if he does no longer own it?

Money says that Paul is back at his desk on Monday, letting JR verbally abuse him, and also letting Stephanie wheeze out promos and somehow make a reference to HHH in there at the same time. THEY'RE MARRIED, LEST YE FORGET

In the meantime, I'll be watching my assorted ECW tapes and dreaming back to better times. Here's to you, ECW, Sofa loves you more than you may know. And now, a moment to pay our last respects to an organization, loved by me, disgraced in the name of a McMahon vs. McMahon feud.