My longtime life-partner "Just" Joe was recently released from the World Wrestling Federation. Now he works down at the docks capturing clams for 10 cents each. While not as glamorous as you might think, this occupation allows "Just" Joe to tap into the pulse of the wrestling world. Because he loves you, and because I gave him five dollars, "Just" Joe has given me the following saucy rumors to relate! He heard them from sailors and prostitutes!!!

-I hear that Christopher Nowinski is pushing for his catchphrase to be "DO YOU LIKE PI???"

-Bob Holly plans to celebrate this holiday season by NOT GETTING HIS FUCKING NECK BROKEN.

-Jeff Hardy recently got some of his poetry published in a very exclusive men's room stall.

-I'm told Dustin Runnels was once employed as a meteorologist in Austin, TX, but was let go when he wouldn't stop making references to "golden showers".

-In continuing to prove her KUUUUURAZINESS, Victoria attacked a local church's nativity scene and devoured the plastic baby Jesus.

-My informants tell me that Test finds the word "booger" really, really funny.

-If Jim Ross had a lisp, I bet his favorite Star Wars planet would be Hoth.

-Sources say that the Big Show has a big crush on female soccer star Mia Hamm.

-Despite 34 years of pleading, no one has ever called Ernest Miller's mother. She's a very lonely woman.

-Rikishi couldn't tell you the names of Santa's reindeer, but he could probably eat them all.

-Rumor has it that Hulk Hogan ordered Rey Mysterio's push killed due to the luchador's refusal to dial 10-10-220 before the 619.

-Claiming that their dreidel infringed upon his Spinarooni, Booker T kicked the asses of some Jewish kids.