BEAVER FEVER 2002!!!

For The Kiddies!

• 12:00 - Appearance by Doink the Clown!

• 12:10 - Appearance by Dink the Clown!

• 12:15 - Appearances by all those other fucking midgets!

• 12:16 - All children under 6 receive a free kick in the head from Goldberg!

• 12:30 - Guess how many cattle are in John Tenta's belly and win A PRIZE!

• 12:45 - Val Venis will be on hand to fashion obscene balloon animals from condoms!

• 1:00 - Explore Steve Blackman's beard!

• 1:15 - Catch a pass from Canadian Football League great Elix Skipper!

• 1:30 - Free Tommy Dreamer rides!

• 1:45 - Exploding barbed wire playhouse!

• 2:00 - Deacon D-Von's Catholic Molesting Booth O' Fun!

• 2:10 - Beat up Eric Bischoff!

• 2:15 - Pop a balloon with a dart and win the ECW title!

• 2:20 - Be mauled by The British Bulldog's bulldog Winston or Matilda or whatever the fuck it was named!

• 2:30 - Jerry Lynn's Hide and Seek! (Fair Warning: No one has ever found Jerry Lynn!)

• 2:45 - DDP will be in the dunking booth! He needs a fucking bath, kids!

• 2:50 - BEAVER RODEO!!!!!