Welcome from St. Louis to more news, views and shoes from under the straw hat.

Well, as you can see, the pro wrestling world changes very quickly. Just the other day, in a column that has yet to be put online, I was wondering where Tajiri was, and then he shows up! Amazing!

With that in mind, I secured to interviews for this column. Here they are:

Eviljonhunt81: Hello all. It is my privilege to be speaking to the current WWF champion, Stone Cold Steve Austin!

SCSA: My name is Stone Cold Steve Austin!

EJH: Yes it is. I can see the nametag.

SCSA: I don’t deserve to be treated like this! My name is Stone Cold Steve Austin!

EJH: Um. . .anyway, so. How does Horable Husband Helmesly’s injury affect your current plans?

SCSA: I don’t deserve to be answer questions like this!

EJH: What? That doesn’t make sense. What the hell is wrong with you?

SCSA: I am the Bionic redneck! My name is Stone Cold Steve Austin!

EJH: Jesus Christ, answer the damn question you moron.

SCSA: Oh, I’ll answer your question all right!

(pause for about a minute)

EJH: Um. . .ok. So, what do you think was the best match of your career?

SCSA: My name is-

EJH: God dammit! Would you shut up? I know your damn name already.

SCSA: Oh yeah!

EJH: This is stupid.

As you can see, fans, Steve Austin has SOLD HIS SOUL TO THE DEVIL HIMSELF!

Here’s my second interview:

EJH: Well, I’m here at Denny’s, where I’m supposed to be interviewing the Undertaker, but he hasn’t shown up yet. I’ve been waiting for 15 minutes now and-

Undertaker: BOO! Did I scare ya?

EJH: AH! Where did you come from! Jesus!

Undertaker: That’s right, you better be scared boy! This is my yard!

EJH: Denny’s is your yard?

Undertaker: Uh. . . . BOO!

EJH: OK, that was just stupid. Now, if we can get started, what do you-

Undertaker: You don’t mess with the big dog, ok? It’s been a decade of destruction!

EJH: Right. Well, anyway, what do you think was your-

Undertaker: BOO!

EJH: Will you knock it off? I’m almost out of tape here. If you want this interview to say anything at all I suggest that-

Undertaker: You’re in my yard now! You came to play, and we can play. It’s my way or the highway. American Badass! BOO!

EJH: Christ almighty! I’m leaving.

Undertaker: Don’t go. Please. I. . .I’m sorry. I wont do it again.

EJH: Well, ok. So, moving on, what (tape ends)

Well fans, that’s all for this time. Don’t forget to go see ’Jons News Site for all your never updated news needs. Alliteration rocks!