I was gonna' write this last week, but nothing much happened. My plan is to do a SK&NS one week, and a UFBR the next, but with a lack of news/motivation last week, I feared the worst. However, self destruction and proffessional wrestling's stupidity have allowed for me to put this together at the last minute. Without wasting anymore time, here's the new news from news.

Ripped directly from 411, who inexplicably ripped it from somebody else: Paul Heyman is apparently scheduled to be at Smackdown tonight. No word on if he will appear on TV and in what role.

I hope that didn't ruin Smackdown for you. Despite the WWE's best efforts to keep potential spoilers from reaching the public, word has gotten out that a re-ocurring character who was given prominent airtime last week will possibly return to television this week.

411 also reported this bit, perhaps as a Little Boy to the last stories Fat Man proportions: Vince McMahon is planning to have Mordecai deliver "shocking" promos. It is unknown what exactly that means.

As if reporting on people regularly showing up for work wasn't lame enough, we now know that . . . Well, we don't know shit else about Mordecai. I FEEL SO MUCH SMARTER NOW THAT I HAVE THIS INSIDE KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORKINGS OF THE WWE!!!!

In the last of my WWE "news," a few places are reporting about a potential feud between Flair and Foley based on their "legit heat." "Legit Meat." I'm torn about this. If it resulted in a one-on-one match between the two, it would definitely draw. However, such a match would be rather hard to watch. In fact, it would probably be rather embarrassing for both men. If they were to feud with other workers as well, and it culminated in a tag match or something similar, it has potential to be a huge storyline. However, Foley's knee is apparently hurt, so I wouldn't count on any of this happening too soon.

News from the Rising Sun

In an odd story that doesn't seem to be getting much attention, Bob Sapp went missing the other day, then later resurfaced and vacated the IWGP title (New Japan's belt). I read this on Zach Arnold's site, where he seemed to blow it off as well. In the past, Arnold has gone on huge rants about how crooked and yakuza-run the Japanese wrestling industry is, so why wouldn't he here? In fact, K-1 has much more yakuza involvement that NJPW, so I would definitely think they are involved in this. Perhaps this is the lack of sleep and drugs and paranoia and watching nothing but yakuza movies for the past month talking, but is it really so hard to imagine that K-1 didn't want Sapp to lose to a pro-wrestler, so they took him aside and told him he'd be better off dropping vacating the title now? HUH?

*seppeku*

THE best news of the week

I also got this from Arnold's site. Apparently, during training, NOAH star (and all around bad ass) Kobashi had his nipple cut off by a crab.

Again: During training, Kobashi's nipple was cut off by a crab. TRAINING!!!! CRABS AND NIPPLES DON'T MIX!!!!

And people wonder why a grown man would still watch wrestling.