I have been absent for a while, but don't fret. I have spent my time in committee, and I believe that we have an idea that will take the internet by STORM!!! Once i get rich off of my new idea (which will be unveiled RIGHT HERE!! in a week, or so), I will finally be able to hate Mexicans. Anyway, just some little bit's of news for you.

I am in the best wrestling shape I have been in in years. If we go a half an hour, I will be ready.

As he hasn't been in any good shape in years now, being in his best shape isn't all that much of an improvement. Furthermore, he never specified that he will be ready to carry his end of a half hour match, just that he is prepared to be in the ring for half an hour, if called on to do that.

For those of you fat, out-of-shape Internet wannabes who have never done anything more athletic than play checkers, kiss my ass for doubting me, and realize why you hate me. I was the guy in school who made you do my homework and locked you in your locker.

Play checkers? Who the fuck plays checkers? If you're gonna' go all high school jock on our collective fat ass, at least bring up an appropriate insult and use chess instead of checkers.

He goes on to say that, no matter what we see on Sunday, he knows that he will have a good match, and that we're all fags. The worst part is that Bradshaw has been the only entertaining thing on Smackdown for the past few weeks, and this "article" is the best promo he's cut in some time now.

Other news

In other news, Sable apprently is still working for the WWE, but "hasn't been on WWE TV lately . . . because Brock wants her to spend most of her time with him. Sable was out for awhile getting a leak in one of her breast implants fixed(!!!!!), but has been healthy enough to return for awhile now."
Credit: 411, who stole it from somebody else. I added the bold and the "!!!"

This has to be one of the most disgusting things I've read in awhile. I'm not sure how Sable is able to just not show up for work because she wants to spend time with her boyfriend, but I guess she just gets paid per appearance, and is maybe just signed to some no-compete clause, or something. None of that matters, though, as WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH LESNAR? If my girlfriend's breast began to leak god only know's what weird type of chemical, that's when I would be asking her to spend less time with me. Jesus.

Also stolen from 411: "Triple H is set to star in the next Conan movie, replacing Arnold Schwarzenegger. Director John Milius feels Triple H has the potential to be the next Schwarzenegger. Milius launched Arnold's career back in 1982 with the first Conan movie"

I guess to play Conan one must either be related to a Nazi, or a very big fan of the movement.

That's about it for now. Enjoy your checkers, you fat fags.