The past week we saw two grade B.5 matches between The Bionic Stone Cold and the Crippler Wolverine. Undoubtedly, the WWF will continue with their trend, bringing us Austin vs Benoit to headline RAWs, Smackdowns, and PPVs for moths to come, and as is usual, all the "Internet smarts" will bitch and complain about how the WWF is stale and can't keep their product fresh. But also, as is typical, the Internet smarts will also fail to realize the true genius brewing in the background of this storyline: Debra's heel turn.

Now, as of right now the reasons for Debra's proposed heel turn are yet unknown, but it is in the works. The first sign was the fact that she wore the dreaded evil red stripes on her shirt last Smackdown. Regrettably, Austin broke keyfabe and proceeded to yell at Debra because of her evilness and red stripes, but inside sources (WrestleZone) have reported that Austin was severely reprimanded for his actions. Following the report, this reporter was offered to a link promising nude photos of HBK's heel turn at Wrestlemania 16, but this reporter kindly declined. Now, since Smackdown is a taped show, it remains a mystery as to why the WWF decided not to cut this piece of footage out of the show, but it isn't my place to question the omnipotence of Vince MacMahon.

But back to the matter at hand: Debra's evil red stripes. Throughout history, red stripes have been used a terror device to terrorize people, and whatnot. The Vikings used to wave red striped flags that read "LIVE" (which loosely translates into EVIL), screaming obscenities, and spitting wildly when the charged into battles. Christopher Columbus painted red stripes on his men to make them look like messengers of the native's gods such as Kalimojo, in hopes that they would accept Columbus's alcohol. During revolutionary days, the French wore red stripes, and that's just self-explanatory. French = evil.

Further evidence is presented in the following link. The images portrayed on this page are clearly backlashes of the old Nintendo Entertainment System days, specifically the original horrible game; Kung-Fu. What was more evil than Kung-Fu? The game had worse controls than Abadox, worse graphics than Pac-Man, and level design that my cat could come up with. Furthermore, it fucked up your game genie if you tried to use the infinite lives command because at the end of each level, your score would increase infinitely and you'd lose by default. Everything about this game screamed evil.

Another interesting bit of information is taken from this link. Apparently, from what I can tell, a happy couple were just wandering around, minding their own business, when all of a sudden hundreds of deadly snakes rained from the skies and killed them. They then went on to post on this forum to ask what had happened. My husband and I were hiking in the Nothern part of Tennesssee and a small, slender green snake with two parallel red stripes slowly slithered in front of us on the trail. The lady in question goes on to talk about how hundreds more came raining down from the heavens above attacking en mass. A tragic end.

The final link comes straight from Jamaica, which seems to have been taken over by Fidel Castro. But this isn't the most evil part, oh ho! The ultimate evilness of red stripes comes in when the Jamaicans, lead by Castro, start feeding beer to the infants of tourists that visit the island. Now while I would normally embrace underage drinking in almost all forms, infant drunkenness has too large an evil overtone for me to condone at all. Furthermore, this "Red Stripe" beer seems to make men attracted to much older women and Jamaican law enforcement look incredibly stupid.

Bringing this column full circle, there is no question that Debra is planning to stab Austin in his bionic back somewhere down the line, and the evidence is on her breasts. Red stripes are an unquestionable sign of evilness, and Debra will be no exception. Internet smarts may laugh and scoff at me for my outrageous claims, but how many times have they been right themselves? I've provided you, my faithful reader, with more than enough proof to support my claim. I look forward to being right.