WWF - Weekly Visitor

October 20, 2005: Trick Or Pete(y)

Deep within the bowels of Team Canada's spookity mansion...

Scott D'Amore: "Showtime, I'm taking Li'l Petey trick-or-treating! It's a great Canadian tradition in which children receive maple-flavored goodies! You're in charge of passing out candy while we're gone!"

Eric Young: "OH JESUS CHRIST NO DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WHERE'S THE SHOTGUN???"

Petey Williams: "Hooray! I like candy!"

Team Canada: "CANDYYY!!!!!"

Scott D'Amore: "Lace 'em up, Petey! Here we go! Ah ah ah ah ahhhhh!"

Eric Young: "AHHHH! AHHHH! AHHHH! AHHHH! AHHHHHH!!!"

First stop: Jeff Jarrett's house!

Jeff Jarrett: "HEY YOU PUNKS, GET OFFA MY LAWN WITH THEM EGGS!!! THIS IS YOUR GLOBAL WARNING!!!"

Petey Williams: "*rings doorbell* Trick or treat!"

Jeff Jarrett: "Go away, boy, you bother me."

Petey Williams: "Aw shucks, mister! I just want some caaaaan-dy!" *pout*

Gail Kim: "Oh, give the boy some candy, George. I mean Jeff. Jeff George."

Jeff Jarrett: "HUSH UP, SLAPTITS! I HAVE ALL THE STROKE AROUND HERE!"

Petey Williams: "Pweeeeeeeease?"

Jeff Jarrett: "Oh, awright, kid. Just let me strut over here like so...

Petey Williams: "WOW!!! Are these really from Mars???"

Gail Kim: "Yes."

Back at the homestead...

Small Child: "Trick or treat!

Eric Young: "OH MY GOD IT'S A FAIRY WHAT THE FUCK"

Onward to Chris Sabin's house!

Petey Williams: "I don't like the looks of this place, Coach! It gives me the chilly willies! I think a sleepy art student might live here!"

Scott D'Amore: "Be brave, Young Petey! Delicious candies are on the line."

Chris Sabin: "Hey man, you got any Eye Drops? I was up all night doing sketches with Relm and I am like so totally out of it."

Petey Williams: "Wait a minute, I'm the trick-or-treater here! You're supposed to give me stuff! Just as my jersey indicates, you will get 'Nada'! THE CAPTAIN OF CANADA HAS SPOKEN!"

Chris Sabin: "Whoa, don't get all lippy with me, short stuff. Unless you want the Doctor of Figanomics to perform a little laser eye surgery, Magitech-style."

Scott D'Amore: "NOBODY TALKS TO PETEY WILLIAMS THAT WAY! I AM ABOUT ONE SECOND AWAY FROM PULLING YOUR JERSEY OVER YOUR HEAD AND PUNCHING YOU IN IT!!!"

Chris Sabin: "Sir, you are the fattest of all Chocobos, and I am beginning to suspect that you eat strangers."

Petey Williams: "YO, THERE BE TWO LIGHTS UP IN THIS CANADIAN HEAZY. Just give me a Tootsie Roll or something before I burn your house down."

Chris Sabin: "Okay, okay, whatever. I'm gonna go play Blitz: The League and Bum Rush the quarterback. Here's some Dried Meat."

Scott D'Amore: "AH AH AH AH AWOOOO!!!"

Meanwhile, at the crib...

Some Kid: "Trick or treat!"

Eric Young: "A GUH-GUH-GUH-GHOST OH SHIT OH SHIT PLEASE DON'T KILL ME"

Elsewhere... Uh-oh! Little Petey has crossed paths with a couple of rough customers!

Petey Williams: "Coach, help! Bullies!!!"

Lance Cade: "GET THE CANDY, GET THE CANDY!"

Mark Jindrak: "Yoink! C'mon, Muggsy Bogues, jump for it!"

Petey Williams: "*sigh* I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller."

Scott D'Amore: "I'M A-COMIN', PETEY!!!"

Cade and Jindrak get D'Amoralized!!!

Petey Williams: "Yay! Thanks, Coach! Say, why does your beard keep appearing and disappearing?"

Scott D'Amore: "It's the magic of Halloween, Petey. Now let's get you home."

Speaking of which...

Not Sean O'Haire: "Trick or treat!"

Eric Young: "OH SWEET JESUS MY HEART CANNOT WITHSTAND SUCH TERROR!!! BOBBY, HELP!!!"

Bobby Roode: "Get thee behind me, Eric Young! We'll not stand for any of this foul hellion's underhanded 'tricks' in our household! Begone, creature, before I break my ice-skate off in your ass!"